Overcoming Grief Advice

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. 

I can definitely see how the loneliness and separation can make you mentally, physically and spiritually weak and sick.  You are experiencing probably the most painful emotion you will ever experience.... grief ... because of the loss of a loved one. I don't know if you are familiar with the term grief, but it is the response to the loss of a person or even other treasured things like your home, job, etc.

What you are experiencing is very normal. It is the expressions of many emotions that come and flow back and forth. At first there is shock your loved one has really died and facing the reality you no longer have this loved one in your life.

You asked, "How do I come out of it?"  It is a process of acknowledging your feelings ... which you are doing in expressing them to me.  It is accepting the feelings you have and allowing them to help you heal from your loss.  The many emotions may seem out of control.  With each loss may come bitterness, emptiness, apathy, love, anger, guilt, sadness, fear, self-pity, and helplessness.

A respected grief counselor and author , Dr. H. Norman Wright, says it this way,
"Seasons of depression, anger, calm, fear, and, eventually, hope will come, but they don't follow one another progressively.  They overlap and are often jumbled together. Just when you think you're over one, it comes bursting through the door again.  You finally smile, but then the tears return. You laugh, but the cloud of depression drifts in once again. This is normal. This is necessary. This is healing. ... Gradually, as you're healed, the waves are less intense, less prolonged and less frequent."

Authorities on grieving tell us that the process usually takes about two years to heal. During this time it is OK to grieve, but there is comfort in the promises of God.

During this time of loss and grief, it is a powerful time to experience God in your life and to receive his comfort.  If you have asked forgiveness for your sins and asked Jesus to live in you and be there for you, you can experience him walking every step of this painful grief-road with you. With forgiveness of your sins you have the hope of seeing your loved one again if s/he  asked Jesus to forgive her of her sins. You would be able to meet again in heaven.

Here are some verses in the Bible that talks about not being alone with God in your life.

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4).

"It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed" (Deuteronomy 31:8).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6).


I am praying for you as you grieve and I am asking God to comfort you as only he can.

I would like to talk with you further about your experience of grieving. Please write back. I look forward to your next message.

Please remember this truth from the Bible:  "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.  For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him" (John 3:16-17).

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