When someone takes their  own life

In many ways, this seems the most tragic form of death.  Certainly it can entail more shock and grief for those who are left behind than any other. 
And often the stigma of suicide is what rests most heavily on those left
behind.  I have dealt with several during my years of ministry, and without
doubt, these are the most trying and painful of all deaths. 

There is a thought I love to use in such situations.  The Bible tells us not
to judge, and in this area that Biblical command needs to be heeded.  How do
we know how many valiant battles such a person may have fought and won before
he or she loses that one particular battle?  Is it fair that all the good
acts and impulses of such a person should be forgotten or blotted out by his
or her final tragic act?

What is the opposite of judgment and/or condemnation?  Two words come to mind
... love and pity.  Was that person thinking clearly in those final moments? 
Was that person driven by some emotional whirlwind when control is lost and
there is a final breaking point?  All of us have moments when we lose control
of ourselves, be it with temper flashes, irritation, selfishness that we
later regret, etc.  I have found that life puts far more pressure on some of
us than it does on others.  Some people have more stamina than others.  I
must simply think ... "There but for the grace of God."

I remember the suicide-death of Dr. Henry Ness, founder of Northwest College
and pastor of Calvary Temple in Seattle for years.  A great man of God, in
his later years he had a horrible brain tumor that could not be cured. 
Terrible headaches drove him to medication, etc.  One day he stepped into his
office and took a gun and ended it all.   When the funeral was held at
Calvary Temple, the pastor in charge stood and said, "We are here to
celebrate the home going of a man of God and a faithful servant of Jesus
Christ."   That seemed to sum it all up.  And it was a time of celebration.

Am I saying that a person who takes his own life goes to heaven?  I cannot
say that in all cases.  I am sure it would depend upon his or her mental
state at the time of death.   But, I can say that life is a gift from God,
and to arbitrarily end it is certainly a vexation to God's righteousness.  
We do need to remind people in trouble that there are those who can help them
when vexed and suffering inner torment.  Secondly, they need to know that
there is a "bridge over troubled waters."  Jesus is that bridge.  He makes
Himself available to people everywhere, and in every circumstance.

I would preach from the pulpit (and have), that a person is taking an extreme
risk in gambling with eternal destiny in order to get out of a difficult
situation on earth.  The Bible is not clear what happens to a suicide victim
in relation to eternal salvation, but we can surely say that unless a person
is insane, does not know right from wrong, and does not realize what he or
she is doing, suicide is a sin. 

When preaching the funeral of a suicide victim, it has always been my
practice to preach to the living.  What an opportunity to address the
realities of eternity, and that we are all facing that which is passed unto
all men (death). 

If you were to look at the suicides in the O.T. it appears that they may have
been condoned by the unusual circumstances in which they occurred.

1. Saul - fell upon his own sword to prevent his being mocked and tortured by
the Philistines (I Sam. 31:4,5).

2. Samson's suicide was with the consent of God, Who endowed him with
sufficient strength to break the pillars which supported the building (Judges
16:28-30).

3. Ahithophel hanged himself as a result of David's curse (2 Sam. 17:23).

4. Abimelech - his skull had been fractured by a millstone cast down by a
woman, so he had his armor-bearer kill him, lest people say that he had met
death at the hands of a woman (Judges 9:43-54).

5. Zimri in I Kings 16:18 burned his castle about him, either out of fear or
in atonement for his sins.  That's up for grabs.

The only suicide in the Bible that seems to be because of rebellion without
hope is that of Judas Iscariot.  He hastened his way to hell by way of
hanging.   Now that would have been a funeral to preach!

I have been to Masada several times and heard the story of the company of
Jews who killed themselves rather than to fall into the hands of the Romans. 
It has become a rallying point for Israel where their soldiers are sworn into
the army and commit themselves to defend their sacred land.

Sigmund Freud said that we have two conflicting forces within us, the power
of "eros", which drives us to love and life, and the power of "thanatos",
which drives us to despair and death.  If Freud was right, it is no moral
wrong if the power of "thanatos" happens to be stronger in a person that the
power of "eros".  If, as Carl Jung put it, we are all children of both light
and darkness, with a few of us destined to be overcome by darkness, suicide
is only a tragedy, not a moral choice. 

A paragraph in my file says this:  "But even if people are not destined by
their own natures to be suicidal, some are caught in such horrible
hopelessness that they are driven to seek escape in the arms of death.  If
suicide is a tragic wrong more like cancer than murder, perhaps we do better
to hold back judgment, prevent it when we can, and weep when we cannot."

In July of 1976, the man who was the custodian of our church, a dear friend
and brother in the Lord, took his life.  Here is the note he left me:

"There is no way of escape for me.  This is awful.  You have no idea how I
love my family and my God.  I have known this for the last 16 years.  Make
your peace with God, work on the teenagers.  I had already crossed the line of
no return between the ages of 17 and 18.  I didn't realize this until 16
years ago. This is a horrible thing to do and I fully realize the consequences."

Obviously this brother believed a lie.  Something happened that I do not know
a thing about in his teens.  All I know is that he was faithful to his God,
his family and his church for many years.  He was a quiet man, which made him
an excellent janitor.  He hid his thoughts and those thoughts drove him to a
terrible act.  I will not judge him, except to say that He trusted in the
same Christ I do.  I therefore place him in the capable hands of my loving
Heavenly Father.

Sorry to go on so long, but you asked for some thoughts.  Hope this doesn't
lead you into more questions than anyone can answer.  We are all flawed,
except as the blood of Jesus is applied.  Let's keep covered by the blood!

In His love and mercy,
Glen D. Cole, former District Superintendent and Pastor in Northern California